18 Things I’ve Learnt As A Kid
1. Chocolates are just to be used as bribes.
2. Bribe is a word.
3. Bribe is not a good thing.
4. Kids don’t speak when two elders are conversing rubbish.
5. Kids don’t argue with elders or else NO MORE CHOCOLATES.
6. I’m 10 years old now and watching T.V with my mom and dad. It’s the news channel and as soon as the “R” word comes up, my mom turns the T.V off.
7. Rape is a word.
8. Rape is not a word but an act and it starts with your uncle saying “Beta chocolate chahiye?”
9. Kids don’t share toys or their chocolates.
10. Only kids say sorry and that’s why my dad will never apologize for his mistakes. Nor will my mom and that’s why they’ve got a divorce.
11. Kids can’t do anything by themselves but when I showed my mom that I can go out all by myself and get the chocolate I want, I was grounded.
12. Grounded is a word.
13. Kids should live in fear.
14. Boogeyman is real.
15. Boogeyman is real because two of them exist at my house. (my parents)
16. Curiosity is for kids.
17. But still when I opened my browser that day to search “porn” my mom and my dad made sure I never used the computer again.
18. I’m 18 now- an adult. But still I haven’t learnt anything besides all the things that I’ve learnt as a kid.
Things happen in everyone’s lives. Serious things. Pretending that these things don’t exist will only worsen the effect of when it actually occurs. Talking about it is the solution. Not the cause.
A DIFFERENT KIND OF RAINBOW
(Article based on Uday Lal’s life- a colour blind friend of ours.)
Yes, he is colour blind. No, he doesn’t see in black and white.
Have you ever imagined what it would be like to not know what your favourite colour is? Not because you’re a confused soul. But because you wouldn’t be able to see it. You wouldn’t be able to identify it. Welcome to the life of a colour blind person.
Being colour blind doesn’t really affect how Uday goes about his life. Yeah, he never knows what to wear because he can’t identify the colours he’s wearing. He can never know if they even go with each other or not.
He was 7 when he came home with the picture of an apple coloured in bright green. He proudly displayed it in front of his mom to show her how well he could colour inside the lines and said, “Look at the red apple. I coloured it well, didn’t I?” To his imminent surprise, his mom wasn’t too thrilled about his neat colouring because it was in that moment that she realized that all the times he had failed colouring class wasn’t because he sucked. It was because he was colour blind. Until then, she just thought he was pea-brained.
Uday claims that he can’t exactly feel bad about not being able to see something that according to him, doesn’t exist. On the other hand, having people constantly ask him, “Ye konsa colour hai?” can get annoying.
It’s not all rainbows and ponies for him either. Like when he failed his driving test because all 3 colours of the traffic light looked yellow to him. Or when he plays FIFA and can’t tell the difference between a yellow card and a red card.
On the up side, being colour blind has its perks. He never has to take his girlfriend shopping. Rather, she takes him. That saves him the pain of “hearing her crib about how he doesn’t dress well because everything is her choice.” And sometimes, if he’s lucky enough to go shopping with someone elder to him, they offer to pay for him which helps him save a LOT of money.
He also never has to worry too much about how he looks. He’s always comfortable in what he wears and always manages to feel confident in it. He hears people crib about colours all the time and he’s always talking about how he’s genuinely glad that he doesn’t have to deal with all those complications like how vermillion would go better than orange or red.
One thing he would like to say is: When you find out he’s colour blind, don’t look at him with sympathy. He’s exactly like you. Just a little different and a little more care free.
A ROAD TRIP THAT WON’T FAIL
Being a college student, there are a few mainstream things everyone does to have fun – Go out to party at night, sit in and watch Netflix all day or go out to eat food. But, you’d be lying to yourself if you said that you never complain by saying, “Bored hu yaar. Kuch aur karna hai.”
And in spite of all the terribly planned and failed attempts to go to Lonavala with your friends, let me tell you why a road trip in college is worth decent planning and is a must to check off of your bucket list.
The infamous ‘Failed Goa Trip’ is no mystery. Let’s face it – college students are broke. So, getting the money to buy plane tickets, book a hotel and chill with your friends is a mission that’s next to impossible for the majority of us. And let’s not forget the repeated, demeaning and sad attempts at getting permission from your parents when deep down you know the answer is going to be a NO.
So, the idea of a road trip is not only extremely attractive and fun, but it is crazy economical too.
People say that if you want to know a person inside out, you should talk to them past 12am. But, think of it this way – If you’re trapped in a car with 4 of your friends for a minimum of 6-7 hours, there’s really not much of an option left but to talk to one another, play some really lame and amusing games or sing along terribly to whatever song comes on the radio. And that’s honestly a really neat way of getting to know someone.
The memories you make when you go to a party or watch a movie will never be as strong as the memories you make when you go on a Road Trip. You’re never going to remember how much you danced or how great a movie was. But, what you will remember is that wrong turn you took that got you in the middle of nowhere, the arguments you had about who gets to control the music and the endless car games you played that were actually meant for 5 year olds.
And lastly, it’s college. The sad reality is, it doesn’t last forever. In 5 years, you’re probably going to have a job or be in a different city from all of your friends. So, if you have the opportunity to make crazy memories with your friends, take it now. Go on that road trip. Go to Pune and go to Burger Barn. Go to Lonavala and eat all the fudge. Actually, go wherever but make sure you make it legen- wait for it- dary.
THE ANTI BUCKET LIST
Most people prefer to focus on the life that they’re living instead of dwelling on all the unnecessary things. To help them live out the best possible life, bucket lists have popped up and now a ton of people have one; well, we would all have one if we would just write it down!
The problem with a bucket list, though, is that it forces people to try to focus on all the things on the list and they miss out on the enjoyment in life. So why not make an anti bucket list focusing on all the things you wouldn’t want to do before you die.
So without any further adieu, we present to you, The Anti-Bucket List.
Lose your sense of humour.
There are probably a lot of silly things that can make you laugh. To not be able to laugh at the tiny things in life is a situation no one should be in. That tiny little spark inside you should never be given a reason to die out.
Hold a spider.
Does this even need an explanation though…? Because like, who would ever want to hold a spider?
Stress over grades and assignments.
We’ve all heard it a good number of times but let’s hear it again, shall we? Your grades don’t define you and they never will. You should obviously work hard but if your assignment didn’t go well or you scored poorly on a test, it’s okay. 5 years down the line, no one is going to ask you about it and no one is going to care.
Worry constantly about what you’re eating.
You only have one life. Eat the pizza. Devour the ice cream. Food makes everyone happy. Why willingly deprive yourself of that?
Send an angry text.
If you’re angry with someone, don’t ever make rash decisions and text them in anger. You’ll end up hurting them, your relationship and yourself. There’s no good that’s ever going to come out of it.
Buy something in the mall that you didn’t absolutely love.
If you didn’t love the top at the mall, it is guaranteed that you’re not going to like it when you get home. You could’ve bought something else with the money you spent on it… like food. Lots and lots of food.
The most important one of all: Dwell on your mistakes.
We all make them. We learn from them. Might as well move on from them. Dwelling on it won’t make anything better and will honestly just stress you out to the extent where you might just make another.
Amongst hundreds of things that we’d never want to do in our lives, these are a few. Add on to it, follow it, keep it in mind or write it down. Make your own list and make sure you never follow anything on it.
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE COLLEGE BEGINS.
Convincing you that college is easy and you won’t come across any problems is pointless. College is hard. It’s scary. It’s new. It’s different. But, in all honesty, it’s amazing.
The nervous and uneasy feeling that one feels on the first day of college is indescribable. The clueless feeling that follows only disappears when you realize that everyone is just as freaked out as you are. And here are certain things you should keep in mind before starting college.
Don’t stress when the teacher asks you to introduce yourself to the class. No one knows what to say. Everyone’s trying too hard to make a cool first impression and probably no one is listening to you because everyone’s too stressed about what they’re going to say.
If you don’t make friends in the first 3 days of college, it’s okay. In spite of what that tiny voice inside is telling you, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be some creepy loner kid in the corner. It takes a while to find your group. And when you meet the right people, you’ll just know.
Don’t worry about joining ‘too many clubs’ thinking you won’t be able to manage college work. It may be hard, but the feeling you get by managing multiple clubs and still passing without a single KT is irreplaceable. Even if it’s tough, it’ll teach you a lot and also give you a chance to make new friends.
And lastly – DO NOT freak out about fitting in. You do what makes you happy and let others do what makes them happy. If you want to get all logical about it, don’t succumb to peer pressure. If you like something, do it. If you don’t, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.
So, to all the First Years – chill out, have fun and make the most of the next 3 years. Make sure you make it worthwhile.
WERE YOU ALWAYS THIS COOL?
- I think we can all agree on the fact that things were a lot easier when we were kids. But, that need to be the cool kid in class has always remained. Now, you’re considered the cool kid if you have the new iPhone 7 or by getting the most likes on a picture. It wasn’t always like that though. As a kid, there were a number of things that made you the coolest of all.
- You knew the secret behind how to win every game of tic–tact-toe. Tic-tact-toe was always our go to game whenever we were bored in class. But, this game was a lot tougher when we didn’t know the infamous trick of filling three of the corners with the same sign and ALWAYS WINNING. If you knew this trick at the age of 5, I just have one word for you- WHOOOOAAAA.
- You made an S with the help of 6 tiny dots. Those 6 dots- probably the most famous trick ever. If you didn’t know how to make that weird, sloppy-looking ‘S’ by the age of 8, what were you even doing?
- If you had the 36 sketch pen pack. You’re lying to yourself if you say that you weren’t low-key jealous of that kid who brought all 36 sketch pen colours when you only had the lame 12-pack.
- If you were lucky enough to bring maggi for lunch. Compared to that monotonous roti sabji every single day, the kid who brought maggi for lunch was by far considered the luckiest and the coolest kid ever. He was kind of like King of the Lunch Break.
- You knew the detached thumb trick. Freaking people out by acting like you lost your thumb was probably the stupidest but also the funniest thing any 6 year old could think of. And even though no one actually believed you (6 year olds aren’t that dumb either), the trick would leave everyone wondering how did you even do that?
- If you had the most friendship bands. Friendship Day was probably the most important day for kids. No wait, scratch that. It WAS the most important day- no questions asked. The more bands that adorned your wrist, the more popular you were. It was like the rule of life. Duh?
THE POST EXAM SAGA
Desperately drinking coffee to stay up all night. Filling up your camera roll with notes you’ve never laid eyes on before. Finding comfort in asking your friends how much they’ve completed. We all know about the endless pain we go through before giving an exam. But, what comes right after? Let’s take a look, shall we?
Sudden Realization The realization that you just gave your exams hits you. You can’t believe that all hell that had broken loose finally came to an end. Whether you’re the scholar that everyone despises or just another kid praying to not get a KT, no moment feels as good as the moment of handing in your last paper and entering an alternate dimension of happiness.
Netflix? Party? WHAT. Every day leading up to your final paper, you’ve been texting your friends, internally (maybe even externally) crying about how you’re gonna fail and just trying to get the motivation to study till the last day. Most of the time, this motivation has consisted of “ BROOO PARTY KARENGE EXAMS KE BAAD.” By the time your exams have ended, you’re either so pumped about partying and hanging out with your friends or you want to finally give in to all those days of staying up late and staring at your textbook and just sleep for 14 hours straight.
Emptiness It’s been 3 weeks since you’ve given your final. Life has been great so far. You’ve got nothing to do and nothing to worry about…. To the point where it feels weird. And when you finish watching the 4th season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for the 3rd time in a row, the emptiness you feel inside is close to unexplainable.
Freaking Out This phase happens to everyone because of that one kid. You know that ONE kid in class who knows that they’ve aced the exams and wants to do nothing but rub it in everyone’s face that they’ve scored more than them? Out of the blue, you’ll receive the dreaded text from that kid- Results will be declared this week, right?
And then you begin to freak out. You start thinking about every error you made in your paper. You calculate your marks in your head trying to figure out whether you’ve passed or not and you know this living hell won’t end until you actually get your result.
But… I scored better, right? Okay, the results are finally out. Your hands shake and your heart feels like it’s going to pop out of your chest while you desperately try to type in your details in your computer to get your result. And then you see it. Now, no matter how you’ve scored- good or bad, the common and most important thing that you keep in mind is, ‘Did I score more than my friend though?’ Because let’s be honest, you can’t say that you’ve scored well if it’s not better than all of your friends. And if you’ve scored low but it’s still higher than all your friends, there’s no chance you’re going to be upset about it.
Acceptance This is the final stage every student goes through after giving their exams. And once again, no matter how you’ve scored, every student says the same thing- “Bhaiiii, next sem mein dekhna. Bohot padhne vaala hu. Ab seriously bol raha hu. Faad dunga.”